Wine Reviewers Replaced with a Tasty Notes Generator (Trends for 2010)

sm_newWine reviewers spend the better half of the day sipping and spitting and the other half stringing all those damn adjectives and adverbs together to come up with a spiffy, make you feel all fuzzy inside wine review that will make your head spin.

Well, enough is enough.

The new trend for 2010 is automated notes generators.

Huh? You heard me. Automated notes generators.

Writing can be such a pain in the butt“, exclaims Enobytes wine reviewer, Pamela Heiligenthal. “…but with a tool like this,  I can whip out a review in a matter of seconds…and I swear this tool reads minds“. She went on to say, “…we’ve already done extensive testing and we’ve found this tool invaluable – I don’t think we’ll ever go back to writing reviews the ‘ol fashioned way“.

Marc Hinton, Enobytes contributor and reviewer went on to say, “…this will free up a lot of time for our wine reviewers to focus on more important things like community service. Well at least the court ordered kind. Yeah, its time to get that off our records and make our probation officer happy“.

Ok, I gotta come clean now, it’s a joke!  But if you want a good laugh and you enjoy making fun of stogy wine review write-ups, you should check out this cool tool called Silly Tasting Notes Generator.  Tech guru Greg Sumner created a Perl script to generate wacky random tasting notes by pulling adverbs, adjectives and flavors from an online wine source and then he strings them together to create hilarious reviews such as these:

Wicked and desperate Syrah. Kicks you with toothpaste, closed french onion soup and perceptable skittle. Drink now through 2011.

Unimpressive and middle-aged Voignier. Drops pixie stick, focused jack cheese and forward slim jims. Drink now through April.

Overaged but equally desperate Cabernet Franc. Forcefully bites you with saltine, extra-ripe hair-spray and perceptable cactus. Drink now through Friday.

Powerful but over-the-top Chenin Blanc. Attacks with string cheese, sassy poi and atomic traces of pork rind. Drink now through Christmas.

Can’t get enough? Head on over to the Tasting Notes Generator and take it for a spin.

…and if you’re still looking for more ways to waste your precious time, why don’t you join the #VinQ Enobytes gang on Twitter for a bit of wine trivia? We play every Tuesday at 5PM PST.  It’s a lot of fun for novices and experts alike.

2016-10-09T17:54:01+00:00

About the Author:

Editor and co-founder of Enobytes.com, Pamela is a sommelier and former restaurant manager and wine buyer with Wine & Spirit Education Trust (WSET), Court of Master Sommeliers & Center for Wine Origins certification. She has contributed to or been quoted by various publications, including the Los Angeles Times, Sommelier Journal, Vegetarian Times, VIV Magazine, UC-Berkeley Astrobiology News, The Washington Post, the Associated Press, NPR and USA Today. True to her roots, she seeks varietal and appellation integrity and is always passionate about finding the next great bottle of wine.

13 Comments

  1. Dale Cruse December 21, 2009 at 5:51 AM - Reply
  2. Dean Tudor December 21, 2009 at 10:42 AM - Reply

    I’ve had Silly Tasting Notes Generator on my website for about a decade or so, since it all began. I do think ity needs a wider vocabulary (try Tudor’s Faint Praise Index) on my website. There are other generators too, such as:

    http://www.randomsentences.com/generate_phrase.asp?file=&submit1=Randomize+Again

  3. Dean Tudor December 21, 2009 at 10:43 AM - Reply

    I forgot to check Notify me…

  4. enobytes December 21, 2009 at 12:02 PM - Reply

    well then, there’s confirmation that the trend continues! :) thanks Dale and Dean.

  5. Michele Brune December 21, 2009 at 2:13 PM - Reply

    haha, Love it. Dean’s faint praise index is pretty good too.

  6. Jim Pratt December 21, 2009 at 8:27 PM - Reply

    Here is my favorite: Generous but sad Chardonnay. A mouthfull of chutney, overcooked raisin and forward vanilla. Drink now through 2009.

    I think I drank this wine last night!

  7. enobytes December 21, 2009 at 10:00 PM - Reply

    Good one Jim. I’m finding a lot of fav’s on Dean’s random sentences too…

    Cedar Hill Vineyards combines sandy mango-fandango essences and a un-memorable oyster essence in their 2002 Merlot.

    wow, Merlot with essence of oysters!! Where can I buy that?

  8. Kate January 3, 2010 at 3:04 PM - Reply

    Thanks for your article!
    Kate

    Knarlie Koncepts. Unique handcrafted wine barrel furniture made from recycled, aged wine barrels.

  9. It’s not about the Berries and Nuts or Coding, My Friends, it’s about Pscott | Enobytes Wine Blog June 23, 2010 at 6:01 AM - Reply

    […] and to the point.  Most of you who’ve been reading this blog know I love to poke fun at the Tasty Notes Generator but in reality,we sort of do our own abstract algorithm. And guess what? That’s my […]

  10. […] and to the point.  Most of you who’ve been reading this blog know I love to poke fun at the Tasty Notes Generator but in reality,we sort of do our own abstract algorithm. And guess what? That’s my […]

  11. bargain July 19, 2011 at 11:02 PM - Reply

    Will use this information in my project.

  12. Charles March 10, 2014 at 1:24 AM - Reply

    Loved the wine tasting note generator. Hilarious! Also I found this one that I thought was pretty good as well http://www.winesnob.me/

    • enobytes March 10, 2014 at 12:49 PM - Reply

      Love it! Thanks for sharing Charles.

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