Move over Trader Joe’s, make room for the Whole Foods version of the super-cheap two-buck-chuck. Priced less than a can a spam, the Whole Foods campaign, “chuck the chuck” offers a brand called Three Wishes in three varietals. The line promises “ridiculously delicious” wines at $2.99, giving value-conscious consumers an alternative to TJ’s popular Charles Shaw Two-Buck-Chuck. We found a panel of tasters who might have a knack for qualifying these wines.

Hey you dang woodchucks, quit chucking my chuck!

The question at hand—could switching to Three Wishes really save you 15% or more on your taste buds? And how much chuck could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck 2$chuck? We recently surprised a pride of woodchucks as they were pulling corks with reckless abandonment (we forgot and left a window open) and for some reason they thought they would get three wishes if they opened and drank the bottles. Who knew woodchucks had evolved to reading and drinking wine, but hey, bears drink beer and monkeys can read, so it was only a matter of time before woodchucks figured out how to use a corkscrew.

California Chardonnay
Unoaked, simple, straightforward pineapple flavored chardonnay with a tinge of sweetness on the finish. On a hot day, this could disappear fast and I am sure the folks at Whole Foods would like nothing better.  Swirl it.

California Merlot
This is the Kool-Aid of Merlot. Light and bright strawberry, cherry and grape flavors with a slightly sweet cigar-box finish. Resembles a Pinot noir more than a merlot. Chuck it. Your tastebuds will appreciate it.

California Cabernet Sauvignon
Sweet and syrupy, almost resembling the likes of a Ludens cough drop with a splash of Welch’s grape juice. That is if Ludens made a cherry cough drop “lite” and I do not recommend cooking with it unless your want a dish with lite flavor. Chuck it.

The bottom line: What do you expect for $3 bucks?

**No woodchucks were harmed during the chucking, nor were they allowed to get intoxicated.  They were held to a strict two-glass limit, and only one woodchuck wanted more than one glass anyway.